Polyday Gifting

An interesting discussion came around in our poly group concerning holiday gifting.

Like, what exactly do you get the girlfriend of your girlfriend's husband's girlfriend's husband? There is this problem of language and position that doesn't meet the familiar model of either seniority or degrees of separation from your mom (well, that's how I rank people in my universe). How do you know what to spend or prepare a gift that isn't seemingly trivial or inane, like an "Here's-an-I-recognize-your-presence-Gift" of a coffee mug? That's almost insulting. "I recognize your place in our pod. I've gotten you some tea bags. Enjoy."

Is there an obligation to extend special gifting consideration to those you've had full-blown sex with vs just a casual snuggle on a frisky Saturday night? I dunno about you, guys, but this one has puzzled me. Obviously this other person means something and I should go and get something, but is there a graduating scale of gift valuation directly related to the degree of intimacy? Imagine what the lack of a gift could say? Yikes!

Kids? Should there be an effort to bring gifts around to children who'd may be a bit confused why so much attention comes from somebody they barely know? Then again, like they're going to refuse a gift... "Hey, look: it's another package." "It's for you, Sally." "Huh-Who's Michael?" "Who cares?!?!?!" Rip rip shred shred...

How about the husband of the woman you're dating - should you coordinate so that both of you don't over-do the other? It'd be kind of awkward if we both got her the same perfume. Shouldn't there be some coordination?

And then Christmas cards. Nothing really says, "Thinking about your wife this Christmas", or, "From our pod, to yours...", or, "Next year, I'll bring the Unicorn", or, "I hope you and your husbands find Jesus this season." Meh.

I guess I've made the best of it this year by declining to circulate any gifts. It's just a policy I'm taking on this year to protest commercialism but I think it's also a way to save my bacon. I need to regroup and think more on these things so I'll have a better plan next year. I gotta go.