ROI- Return on Investment
ROI is a term that is frequently bandied about in business settings. Let's say you send out a mass mailer, spend $300 and 4 hours of your time on it, and get two new clients. Well, if they are fantastic clients that turn into a long-term connection, that may be worth your time. You got good ROI. On the other hand, let's say you get those same two new clients, but they are just there for the mondo cheap promo that you put into the mailer, and then you never see them again. Poor ROI. It cost you way more to do the marketing than the benefit you received.
Often in poly, I see people flailing around, trying to figure out what is going to get them the best ROI for their time spent "marketing" themselves to potential partners. If one spends 16 hours creating a perfect profile on OKC, answering questions, and sending out emails to people that seem like they may be a good fit, and one date is the result, is this a good ROI? What if they go to local events, snuggles, discussion groups, actually meet people and find a new connection, but it isn't at the level that they are looking for? Was that worth the time?
Finding quality partners isn't something that comes too hard for me. While I have the gender advantage going for me, I don't think that's really all it is. What I think is really working for me is that the things that I do to connect with others, online or in person, are more about building community and creating a positive space to explore myself inside of, rather than having an expectation that doing z is going to lead to a particular type of relationship, or x number of dates. My ROI is based on personal satisfaction and growth, not on relationship or dating connections.
For those of you out there that are just at your wit's end to make something happen, I'd encourage a reevaluation of approach. By all means, know what you want in life, and go for it! Just make sure that those wants are achievable without the specific cooperation of others. When you are in a space where you are really happy to have a conversation with someone, and aren't angling for a deep exploration of their bits, it comes through, and the bits just follow at that point. ;)